Nov. 11, 2005 - Recent Funnies on Jokes about France's Riot's

Viva La France-Bashing
 The rioting in France has provided new fodder for that favorite American pastime: France-bashing.

"This is now the twelfth day of rioting in France. They have been rioting for almost two weeks. And France has still not surrendered. That’s like a record." —Jay Leno

"Night after night after night of looting and burning cars, but don't worry, because the French government is working around the clock at finding a way to blame it on us." —David Letterman

"The immigrants, mainly North African Muslims, are upset that they're being shunned by French society. They feel alienated, scorned, looked down upon. Apparently, they're unaware this is a common situation known as Being French." —"Daily Show" correspondent Rob Corddry

"The Muslims, without realizing it, are living the French dream — the idea that anyone, no matter how poor, no matter where he's from, can be judged not by the content of his character, but by the incorrectness of his conjugation. ... It's refreshing to see a country erupt in a violent orgasm of hatred and know they can't pin this one on us." —Rob Corddry

"Things are so bad in France, they’re asking the Germans to come back." —Jay Leno

"The rioters are said to be upset because they are immigrants who have been treated poorly by the French. What? French people treating foreigners rudely? I can’t believe that — stop the presses." —Jay Leno

"It's now the 11th day of rioting in France. Today President Bush said, "Not to worry. The full use of FEMA is on the way." —David Letterman

"Every night people go out and go crazy all over France. Last night over 600 cars were set on fire, 600 cars! But the good news is that the rioters saved over 15% by switching to Geico." —David Letterman

French Army Jokes

Q: What are they calling the Germans, French and Belgians, at the Pentagon?
A: "The Axis of Weasels."

Q. Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?  

A. So the French can show them how to surrender.

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?  

A: Nobody knows, it's never been tried.

Q. Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?  

A. Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?  

A. So the Germans could march in the shade.

Q: How many gears does a French tank have?
A: 4 reverse and 1 forward, in case the enemy attacks from the rear.

Q: How can you identify a French Infantryman?
A: Sunburned armpits.

Q. What's the difference between Frenchmen and toast?

A. You can make soldiers out of toast.

Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?  

A. The Army.

Anyone see the French Military Rifle on eBay? It's never been shot and only dropped once!

Drop me a line if you got a new one!

Nov. 11, 2005 - A few New Jokes I heard on TV!

"Well, while all this is going on, all these indictments, President Bush has now ordered everyone in the White House to attend ethics classes. Woo, not a moment too soon on that one. Now, you thought FEMA was late? —Jay Leno

"President Bush has asked all the White House employees to take an ethics course. And Dick Cheney´s asked them all to take CPR. In fact, it´s not even a course, it´s a seminar, being held in Vegas, and Halliburton is picking up the tab." —Jay Leno

Below is another funny Article I read from about.com

ROVE CAUGHT CHEATING IN WHITE HOUSE ETHICS CLASS

Top Aide Seen Looking at Cheney’s Paper During Pop Quiz

Just days after President George W. Bush ordered the White House staff to take what was called a “refresher” course on ethics, his top aide Karl Rove was caught cheating during the first pop quiz given in the course, the White House confirmed today.

According to Marisa Clomens, the teacher who taught the refresher course, Mr. Rove was clearly seen craning his neck to copy answers off Vice President Dick Cheney’s paper during the pop quiz.

“Once I saw Mr. Rove looking at Vice President Cheney’s paper, I told him to put down his pencil and asked him to stay after class,” Ms. Clomens said. “I had him write ‘I will not leak the name of CIA officers’ one hundred times on the blackboard.”

For President Bush, who clearly had hoped to send the message that he was serious about cleaning up the ethical mess at the White House, the news that his top aide had cheated off the vice president’s paper during a pop quiz comes as a public relations setback.

“The president doesn’t understand why Karl would go and do something like this,” one source said on Sunday evening. “The pop quiz didn’t even count that much towards his final grade.”

But according to the same source, the cheating incident raises an even more perplexing question: “If you were trying to get a good grade in ethics, why would you copy off Cheney’s paper?”

Elsewhere, billboards showing the rapper 50 Cent holding a gun were taken down amid fears that the image might set off Robert Blake.